What is death but a traversing of eternities and a crossing of cosmic oceans? - Robert E. Howard

Dear Mom in heaven,

One year ago today, we got the news that you have passed on and you left behind only your memories. Not a day goes by that we don’t reflect on you. Every morning that I wake up, I am reminded of you not being around. I can’t pick up the phone and call you and hear your heartfelt laughter.  Neither can I have hour-long discussions with you whenever my mind is giving me a difficult time. I remember clearly I always called you and asked you to help me decide the menu for entertaining guests at home as your recipes were simple yet delicious. And you knew me mom, how lazy I was to whip up these elaborate meals.  You always told us that whatever you do, if it is done with a lot of love, people are going to cherish it forever. 

Exactly a month ago from your death, we got the news of your cancer diagnosis. Each and every doctor that we consulted told us what we didn’t want to hear. Doctors can be saviors but they also act like this mirror at times, which shows you the most hideous of scars. Your unwillingness to undergo treatment took a toll on everyone around you as we wanted to see you getting better and not succumb to this disease. You always knew that it’s time for you to pack your bags and start your eternal journey to heaven.  

“No one is immortal my child, and I am no different”, you said a few days before your death. The day dad was searching for the best doctors to treat your incurable kind of disease, was the day we realized how serious this had become. Tears welled up in our eyes and the whole family was hiding their pain in front of you but were broken inside.  We were looking for places to hide and cry, shying away from each other, but we knew it well.

The day had finally arrived when you were being taken for the surgery never to come back alive. You succumbed to it with a smile on your face for everyone to see. The spiritual melodies that we sang with you and the stories we shared before you were taken away is a beautiful memory etched in our hearts forever. Goodbyes are never easy mom, but you didn’t make it seem like one. You were happy, as you knew you are going home; your real home where god is waiting to welcome you with his arms wide open.

Now that you are there, you must be making everyone happy with your beautiful anecdotes and the immense love that you carried within you.

Our loss is heaven’s gain. How did you disappear mom, like you never existed? If death is the ultimate reality of our lives, why can’t we simply live in the moment, as tomorrow is never promised? You lived each day of your life thinking about others, of ways to make others happy and cheerful. You were our safe harbor, our hiding place, and the place where all our problems were taken care of; you were home for us mom. You were the binding force so strong, that never did we see a dull day with you around.  Your spiritual guidance all through out your phenomenal life was like a balm on our wounds. I don’t remember a single soul not being enchanted by your presence. Your aura was like this electromagnet that kept pulling all mortal beings towards you. You were different mom and you made us feel different too. I hope that all your qualities have been multiplied in the heavenly plane and you have much more to offer, beyond our imagination.

I remember hugging you so tight one day, like that would stop you from going away from us; like that would stop the cancerous cells from multiplying; like that would make time stand still and normalize things like before. The thumping heartbeat and the blood rushing through your veins symbolized hope for us. There was a certain kind of comfort in the sound of your heart beating. I didn’t say it that day, but it was the best moment of my life; to be able to be so close to life itself mom. 

A few days after your death, Anahita, who loved you so deeply, asked me if you had come back after visiting god. Her ever-curious eyes were looking for answers; that no one could offer. For a brief moment, I thought, how I wish that was even remotely possible. Unfortunately, I had to tell her that once people visit god, they are gone for good.  You know mom, in all of this, what is the most agonizing thing that I need to come to terms with everyday? The fact that your grandchildren won’t know you like the way we experienced your divine presence.  They will not experience life in its most innocent and joyful state, like you would have offered. One of the links with their cultural heritage and family history is lost. The moral support and the unconditional love and affection, that you could have provided is gone with you, mom.  But I try. I try to narrate stories of my childhood, always demonstrate how you cooked a specific dish or what you would say if I was acting naughty.

Even today, whenever I cook a dish that you made a certain way, I have tears in my eyes, as I can’t make it like you mom. No matter how hard I try.

I am writing this to you, to tell how much you were loved, and how we have been coping with your loss. I have tried to collect a few lines from people who loved you so dearly and miss you every single day.

“I was looking forward to retire after my 75^th Birthday but I guess I will postpone it a little more, as I have yet to figure out to live without you. Words can’t describe how I felt for you. I don’t really discuss your loss with anyone often as I feel it just pains me to think that you are not with us anymore. To the wind beneath my wings, I hope you are making others in heaven fly. I miss you”.

‘’Mom, you were the most vibrant and cheerful person one could ever meet. The amazing glow on your face told the entire story of your heart. You were immersed in god’s love and poured forth all that love for friend and foe alike. Who would have thought, that the one who mesmerized others with her angelic qualities would become an angel herself so soon. Your readiness for the flight was so graceful; who knew the icon of the art of living would teach us the art of dying. Mom, the queen of hearts would live in us forever”.

“We are forever indebted to you dearest mom. Not a day went by that we didn’t come to you for your priceless advice. A dynamic person like you could instill life in even the dullest of conversations. We always had your back mom, in thick and thin. The unparalleled depth of our relationship is going to be cherished forever. It has been a difficult year but we are trying. The void that has been left behind is too deep to be filled”.

“Nani, you were funny, sweet and loving. You were always positive through everything and you were a great spiritual role model. You used to tell me stories of your childhood and teach me about the soul’s worth. I remember you telling me the importance of meditation while we both sat on the bed and listened to Indian songs on the TV.  When I was younger, you helped me tidy my room and I even remember locking you in there just because I didn’t want to clean it.  Sorry for that Nani. You have inspired us to always look on the positive side no matter what. You were one of the kindest people I had ever met and I strive to be like you one day”.

Mom, they don’t sell postage stamps for heaven and even if they did, I would have sent this to you, no matter how long it took. This is a ritual I would like to follow every year, because I clearly remember that day, the day when you lightly showed your eagerness for me to write blogs and pour my heart out. I am doing it today mom, as I deem this day fit to gift you something that you always wanted.

Love in abundance,

Your daughter

The coffee shop chronicles

Lately, I have been fraught with the idea of producing a convincing blog entry or merely writing a good article. Nevertheless, I resolve to become a good blogger. It has become challenging for me to express myself concisely and have a clear train of thought, flowing effortlessly for my readers. However, I am determined to come out of the mental block or the writer’s block as you call it, since there could be nothing worse for an ardent writer to be devoid of words he/she so loves. The idea of writing this blog originated when I was all by myself in the last few weeks. So I kept myself occupied with reading, shopping, exercising, saving drafts of my articles and visiting my preferred coffee shop.

 Bright, luminous and sunlit days are here and what an idea to relax and unwind with a book in your hand coupled with the coffee of your choice. So there I was, in one of the poshest shopping streets of Munich, Germany. Buzzing with people from all age groups, you could witness children, teenagers and adults engaged in conversations, window-shopping or simply soaking it up in the upbeat and open-air beer bars of this city. As I entered Starbucks (my favorite coffee shop), I noticed that all tables were taken and I started looking around to discover a young man with those typical nerdy looks sitting all by himself. It was absolutely fine with me to share space with a stranger for a cup of coffee. After all, I had no intentions to engage in a tête-à-tête with him.

 ‘Entschuldigung, darf ich hier sitzen’

 He looked at me with his big brown eyes, feigning to be very busy and making me feel as if I committed a mistake by asking him this question.

 ‘Ja, bitte schoen’, said the guy.

 Now that was German for asking someone politely if you could sit there. To my surprise, I was permitted to do that. I sat there firmly and after keeping my personal belongings on the table, I rushed to order my drink. The evening air permeated with the aromatic and strong smell of coffee beans. There were girls and boys involved in a little pep talk while they waited in the long cue to get their orders. It had never been hard for me to select the kind of coffee I wanted from the vast array of options that they offered in Starbucks – Coffee Frappuccino it was, with lots of milk and little ice. The waiter gave me a befuddled look. Who on earth customizes our drinks? We are flawless. The problem was not the taste of Frappuccino. It was the ice. By the time, I read just 2 pages of my book, my drink was almost over and I was left sucking the straw in a futile attempt to treat my taste buds for more coffee.

 As soon as I got hold of my drink, I went and sat in front of that man, who pretended to be even busier than before. Taking a break from my novel, ‘The Decision’ by Penny Vincenzi, I looked around and saw that the man had gone. He simply vanished in thin air. Already tired of reading for long, I started observing people around me. There was this attractive girl sitting behind my table, who was fidgeting with her iPhone. Fiddling and toying with it, she seemed very agitated. She had green eyes, her complexion as white as milk and her hair like gold; she was indisputably an eye candy.

At the sub conscious level, I wondered, what if I was as good-looking as she was. What would have changed then? Had I been more loved or cared for? Are all pretty looking people admired by their peers just because they are blessed with nice looks? Perhaps, the girl might also have some undesirable thoughts running at her sub-conscious level. So if she was beautiful, did it make her a lot luckier than others? Contradicting myself mentally, I thought that she must have also been struggling with her own set of tribulations and disappointments.

 I really enjoy the idea of observing people around me. It provides an opportunity to notice the joyful and sociable façade, no matter how hollow they felt inside. It leads me into believing, even though for a moment that ‘It is a lovely world out there’. Isn’t it? But this was far from reality. Each one of them wearing a mask of contentment; they sure were hiding something inside, something which was private, intimate and undisclosed. Delving deep into someone’s psyche always made me empathize with that person. Being a psychology lover myself, I enjoyed reading about the goings-on of the human mind. How it had the potential to create joy out of sorrow and how little we used it to bring about such experiences in our life. Our immense potential in perceiving every situation and every problem to our own advantage was never unleashed.

 In the midst of my long philosophical ramblings on life and people, I realized that it is dark and I should get going now. It was an unremarkable and ordinary spring day but it brought along with it anticipations and possibilities of a better tomorrow. I always liked to end all my days with a lingering hope as that infused a lot of positive energy and enthusiasm in me, to start another day afresh. I left the café with a reassurance to myself that I will come back again tomorrow, perhaps for some more contemplations and innocuous observations ☺

How to Practice Spirituality and Stay On the Path

from wikiHow - The How to Manual That You Can Edit
Spirituality is an integral part of our life. Just like medical science, spiritual science is also vast and holds many answers to our unsolved questions.

Steps

1. Find a religious leader or Guru

Finding a spiritual guru will make the path of spirituality a little less complicated as he can guide you throughout the journey. You could ask any of your religious friends/ family if they recommend anyone or simply read up on the spiritual organisations which will help you take the right decision.

1. Join a meditation centre

Today we are surrounded by various meditation centres and you could join any one of your choice. Learning meditation is the most crucial step to walk the path of spirituality. With the help of various meditation techniques, you could be able to identify one form which works best for you and start practicing it. On the other hand, if you do not want to spend your dollars, you can always learn new methods online.

1. Read up

Reading leads to knowledge and to develop a keen interest in spirituality, we need to educate ourselves a little before hand. This will not only answer some of your questions but will also motivate you for your spiritual quest of life.

1. Practice meditation daily

Meditation is like clearing the clutter of our minds and trying to reach a state of nothingness. Practice makes perfect and specially when we want to quiet the mind. Even if its for 15 minutes, take out time during the day and sit. You may have to force yourself in the beginning, as our monkey mind has a habit of jumping from one place to another. Your mind might wander, but bring it back slowly. This should not demotivate you to meditate because it will be harder to resume again, once you stop it.

1. Attend spiritual discourses

Just as reading books is important, similarly spiritual discourses keeps our interest in this subject stimulated. You even have various videos on spiritual discourses online.

1. Aim for a healthy lifestyle

Walking on the spiritual path not only requires mental discipline but to a great extent physical discipline as well. A healthy mind leads to a healthy body and vice versa. Exercising, eating well and avoiding stimulants like drugs and alcohol is the right approach to a healthy lifestyle. Physical activities release feel good chemicals in our brain, build self confidence and lead to our mental well being. Our body is the temple of our soul so take care of it.

1. Try and be a better person

It has been rightly said that 'Actions speak louder than words'. Philosophizing something and giving expert advice to people is one thing but doing what you believe in is quite another. We all have a few personality issues to address. Try and work on them. If your anger is a cause of concern for you and your loved ones, practice patience. If your ego takes the better of you, try and empathize with others. Learn to give; offer your help to those who need it- emotional, physical or financial. And remember, you cannot change yourself overnight. It takes a great deal of patience and perseverance to be the person you strive to be.

1. Stay on the path

Last but not least, you need to be determined to achieve anything and losing focus may take you back to where you started. Be persistent in your pursuit.

Article provided by wikiHow, a wiki how-to manual. Please edit this article and find author credits at the original wikiHow article on How to Practice Spirituality and Stay On the Path. All content on wikiHow can be shared under a Creative Commons license.

And I dream small

                  

 Small are my dreams

But I don’t have a care in the world

And my vision may be blurred

But that is how life curled

Through empty roads and meaningless destinations

What is life without some frustrations?

Love for some love,

Hate for some hate

It may be late for some initiations

Crippled in darkness most of the times

I find my way through god’s little chimes

He guides in my fears

Wipes all my tears

With lots of hope

And love for my soul 

He sets me free from all limitations

Yes I walk slow that I know

But then small are my dreams

And they will be fulfilled I know

How to cope with loneliness

It‘s a beautiful Saturday evening and the whole world is out there enjoying themselves to the fullest. They have plans to hit a bar or a pub or just be themselves with some friends coming over to dine with them. People who are married and have kids may want to spend the ‘family time’ at home relaxing and discussing all about the previous week.

You are back from a hard day’s work and you too want to have someone around, either to have a beer or just chill out over a pizza and a movie. Yes, that is an interesting plan! But will you be able to materialise it at a time when you need it most? You feel disconcerted and think about a few friends who would be willing to give you company. Searching through your cell phone name list, you find out that there is no one who can be your Saturday night accomplice or a partner in crime- whatever you want to call it. And you have to face this situation almost every weekend or you can say every day? Does this sound familiar? Well you are not alone. There are many people who find ways to kills loneliness and in the end resort to alcohol or in the worst case- take to drugs.

In this article, I would like to throw light upon few ‘do’s and don’ts ‘when you are feeling alone or missing your family or partner (if he/she is out for a trip).

All that you ‘can’ and ‘must’ do when you have the dreaded feeling of aloneness

Take up a hobby-

Either you like to read, write, listen to music, work out, play outdoor games or just like to cook to unwind- Do it! Never waste time thinking about what others might be doing at that hour. That’s the worst thing that we could do to ourselves. Nothing could be worse than envying others who have company. There are chances that they are feeling alone than ever even with people around. And maybe they too want to be left to themselves and indulge in some hobbies. Remember- We are what we think at that moment. It’s a great feeling to have felt accomplished after having read something worthwhile or played a game of tennis or football out there at a local club (Even if it is with strangers. Is it time to make new friends?)

Meditate

Meditation can be done in various different forms and techniques. Not necessarily that you need to recite a mantra. It is a great source of relaxation and what they call the food for soul. It not only makes you feel good about yourself but also makes you intelligent, focussed and more at peace in life. You would no longer feel futile and despondent and it will add new dimensions to your small world (making it bigger). For ways of meditation, you can learn new techniques online or just sit comfortably, close your eyes and try to reach a state of nothingness. A state of mind where there are no thoughts in your head and you just breath slowly. This takes a lot of effort and that is the beauty of it. Do it now and find it for yourself.

Keep your online activities in limits

If you love staying online to read up on the internet or just surfing about new things- It is not a bad idea. But if you surf social networking sites for more than two hours in a day- you bet that your loneliness may also come from there. Facebook is a great way to keep in touch with friends and family and sharing bits and pieces about your life, but if it is consuming half of your day and is also dominating your thoughts- then you better try to change it now. The more you get to know about all the fun that your friends are having, the more you feel empty. The information shared in the form of photographs and happy status messages may take a toll on your psyche in the long run. You may not even realise it initially. You may end up feeling lonelier than ever.

Last but not the least- You are not alone

No one person can make you completely happy and no one person has the ability to make you sad. All of us have similar needs and wants (to a great extent) which in turn lead to similar life situations. Remember that there are many people who are as lonely as you are. So you do have people who share the same feeling? Then you aren’t lonely anymore!

If you try to make the most of your presence rather than cry over the absence of others – you would realise that you are your own best friend and you do not need people to make you happy or simply entertain you. Utilise your time in doing everything that you like- It could be anything. But remember it should be productive enough as the things that you do, have the potential to give you guilt pangs later. Live it up! J

Those inane reasons!

Puff it along people! This is what we are supposed to indulge in and our tremendous contribution to the society will definitely prove to be a boon for us and our acquaintances. Many of you would be scratching your heads by now as to what is it I want to throw light upon in this piece of writing? No this is not unheard of as innumerable newspapers and magazines are inundated with articles pertaining to this dreaded “disease” or “habit” (the way you want to call it).

Let my sarcasm be the domain of the introductory subsection and let’s get the hang of it. Yes, I am talking about the smokers who have either spoilt their lives or of people they are related to. Every smoker has a rationale to provide with if quizzed about his/her habit of smoking. Needless to say, all of us are conscious of the fact that “Cigarette smoking is injurious to health” Infact I have quoted something more than the obvious .All covers have this big fat statutory warning written clearly but to no consequence. Smokers feel a sense of smugness in flaunting that tiny little source of tobacco as if there is some chunk of money coming out it.
Research has proved time and again (now this sounds clichéd) that smoking can lead to various tribulations but still man does not want to learn. Hilarious as it is, I would ask all of u to find reasons behind this so called “addiction”.
If asked, they say smoking is not an obsession but just a source of break as we want to “take off our mind” from work. It’s our way of repose and so we cannot do without it. To add more to it, it’s just like” grabbing a cup of tea or coffee for refreshment. Just an insight into the most inane reasons given by them.
It’s a remorseful state of affairs as this trade fetches out very high proceeds for the Indian government as well as the manufacturers. But at the cost of losing human resources? It’s gruesome to read the data and statistics of the lives at stake .All thanks to the bud. I am not going to give you any “gyan” since it’s superfluous in our daily journals. But just another dosage to all those who have been a part of this peril. It would not take much time to revitalize our energies for something which is imperative rather than channelizing it on something which not only leads to self damage but to mass annihilation. If you don’t deem your lives to be precious then at least do not wipe out gods beautiful creation .The people around you are innocent and save them from being a victim of agony and distress .Start loving others and then you might feel the difference!

Those Mannequin manners!

Beep..Read..one message received .So are you joining the party tonight?That was my friend Geisha who couldn’t just wait to cover these weekend parties as and when she was asked to. Yet another ostentatious display of the so called “ High Society People”.I thought’.

I coudnt understand the modus operandi with which these lesser mortals always stood high without a good reason or cause. Every single person had a story to share, full of their relationship troubles and how many bucks they spent last night. Geisha could never comprehend the resentment in my eyes when I was asked to accompany her to these places. Places they were, of melodrama and fake wisdom. We enter with our tiny miniatures (cameras) to gauge the push and pull of that materialistic world. Bar tenders exhibiting their art as beautifully as they could, discussions full of that “whos who” of the party tonight and angst between various members present for reasons they knew better. Who wants to know if the other person next to you bought a Da Milano or a Gucci? Any dud who has money can indulge into these temptations! You are astounded to see that prim and proper lady in that party who is just like a mannequin displayed with the best of clothes a store guy owns.Once the outer shell fades away then is the chance to delve deep inside her thoughts and inner beauty. If she wins your heart with that,indeed shes way too perfect! But such people are rare to be found!
We spend hours thinking about wealth and the hard way to get it but we forget what we are as human beings. We definitely have come across our elders saying” Bhalai ka zamana nahi hai, thoda tez banna padega” . I say in the hustle and bustle of earning our bread and doing the best of things to be at par with our peers, we should not lose our dignity. Be as ordinary as you are! Why should one forget the roots and sanskaras with which our parents have nurtured us. Life is about keeping our virtues intact inspite of all the footfalls and unpredictable situations.The use of our intellect will make us even wiser one day!But alas! That’s the sad story all of us have to share. We don’t have the “time” to think about our karmas but all the time to discuss and critize what others did and where they went! The almighty has endowed us with magnanimous light in the form of our soul but we never dig hard into it. Its time we take a step forward to become that child of the divine as we entered this world innocently years back. Vanity might not be a food for our souls but our humanity indeed is!